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MUM-of-four Nicky Maidment was deeply depressed and feeling suicidal when a long-term relationship ended.
She felt worthless as a mother and a human being – she had effectively become a ‘Stepford Wife,’ who lived to serve her partner.
Nicky, 55, who lived in Bowerhill said, “I thought I had to be perfect and had given everything I had to the relationship. So, when it ended, I blamed myself and held the belief I was worthless as a mother and a human being. I had lost my own identity and just become ‘someone’s girlfriend’ or ‘someone’s mother,’ so when it didn’t work out, I was broken. I would physically shake and I couldn’t eat or sleep. I lost two stone in a matter of weeks and took sleeping pills to get some rest. In the end, it was actually thoughts of my children that kept me going.”
But it was at this low point in her life she discovered Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), which involves a set of techniques to develop the way people work on a personal level.
She credits the use of NLP with saving her life and developing her sense of self-worth. Nicky grew up with the belief that ‘behind every successful man was a good woman’ and it was her role to be supportive – ahead of her own needs. She said, “I was run ragged. I worked three jobs, looked after the children, housework and my partner around the clock. Of course, this was a recipe for disaster. When it ended I told myself my best simply wasn’t good enough.”
But a couple of months after the break-up, one of Nicky’s friends sent her on an NLP course, which proved to be a real turning point. Nicky said, “I realised I had a choice about how I felt and I didn’t have to carry around all these negative emotions.”
Today the grandmother of five has her own identity and is set on helping other people overcome anything from depression to phobias.
Nicky, who has trained with celebrity practitioners such as Paul McKenna said, “I once ran off a stage in panic after holding a presentation. My own thought processes were stopping me from performing well. Now I’m happy to talk in front of big groups. I’ve also used the tools I’ve learned to quit chocolate, which led to me losing over a stone in weight. But most importantly, NLP has enabled me to be accepting and proud of who I am.”